Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize
