she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
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