K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
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