Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
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