Sry I called you an 8
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
He called his prostate his "boner button".
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
Success! We fucked roommates!
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