did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
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