1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize
