I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
y did u give ur computer a hand job?
On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Randomize
