She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Randomize
