so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
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