Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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