his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
Randomize
