you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
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