I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
Randomize