i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
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