I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
Randomize
