dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
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