Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
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