i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Randomize
