If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
Jerry, you need to find god
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
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