I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
Randomize
