Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
Randomize
