is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
then he tried to convert me to islam
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
Randomize
