I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
Randomize