If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Randomize
