They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
Randomize
