It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
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