Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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