my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Randomize
