I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
