DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
this hospital has no fireball
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
Randomize
