Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
