And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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