should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
Randomize
