shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Randomize
