So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
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