Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
