Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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