Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
Randomize
