After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize
