i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
Randomize
