just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
Randomize
