i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
Randomize
