Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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