And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize