I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
Randomize