Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
Randomize
