elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Randomize
