You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Randomize
