This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
Your cock deserves a montage
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Randomize
