i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
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