forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
Randomize
