I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Randomize
