Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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