Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
Randomize
