I'm eating all of the evidence.
Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
Randomize
