my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
I looked at my own cervix.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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