I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
