Well apparently he's into motor boating.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Randomize
