I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
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