we're blogging at a bar
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
Even my vagina gasped.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
