You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
