Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Randomize
