so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
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