Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
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