Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
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