I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
that is very illegal...i love you.
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize