We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
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