Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Randomize
