I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
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