Apparently you make a good broom.
if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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